Monday, 4 July 2011

My Old Self

I feel like my old self again.

This sentence is weird in itself because over the past few months I thought I felt like myself but it wasn’t until I did something that made me feel truly myself.

The thing in question was me writing a essay for Philosophy. Mundane and boring was this moment in time until I turned on the music I wanted to listen to: The Ocarina of Time soundtrack. This was the one thing that I used to do when writing an essay. I guess nostalgia helps me with an essay.

At this moment I realised that I wasn’t really myself over the past few months, I say months best part of a year. Myself being the hundred of contradictions that I already mentioned in my stereotypes post.

But it was at that moment that I felt like myself again just for simply doing something that I hadn’t done in a year that I did subconsciously.

And that’s when I realised that I should be every contradiction that I am.

I should be the nerd with a manicure.

I should be the girl who walks around in 2 inch heals but still plays Call of Duty.

I should be the girl who paints her nails whist watching Formula One qualifying.

I should be the girl who swoons at a sale on a pair of cute shoes then swoons at a Nissan GTR in the same moment.

For the past few months I have been the more girly girl side of me and that doesn’t seam right to me because I am missing out a whole half of who I am.

My sister said to me the other day “How can you be a nerd and still be such a fashion victim?”

Well sisterling… watch me.

I will be every aspect of me from now on.

I stared this blog to work out who I am but this is who I am the girl who is so well rounded it is impossible to define me.

That’s maybe why I can’t think of putting myself in to one particular job or career because I’m simply interested in too many things.

But that’s what I need to do sample everything. You can’t wait around for the muse of inspiration with writing the same goes for life. I need to get out, sample everything I love and everything that I am interested in and someday I will know what I want to be.

But for now I am just a nerd with a manicure. Shouldn’t work, but sort of does.

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